Big problem with alliances

Hi, me and my friend are using the unnamed ai mod and we are fully patched for SE5, and we've been trying to play our game but we're having serious problems with our alliances. Our games is a simultaneous game played on different computers, played by email. It started out with me making an alliance with a computer, and my friend making an alliance with another computer, but we both realized they weren't worth it and both left them. However, in a couple turns my friend along with 5 other computers all randomly joined my friend's alliance again, though he never agreed to join it. He left the alliance because it wouldn't have been fair or fun if he had almost all the computers on his side, and since almost all the computers were allied we decided to ally and try to get the remaining computers. Once we were allied I proposed that we add more computers and he was going to vote on it the next turn, but we both randomly left the alliance, though neither of us tried or wanted to. So we tried to ally again, but this time we got placed in the alliance we made, but that didn't even matter because we both got put in my old alliance with the computer i allied with a while ago on the same turn, and the alliance we have with me, my friend and the computer overrode the alliance with just me and my friend, though both were still on the empire screen. So we decided we were going to invite the remaining computers, we proposed it and he was going to vote on it next turn, however before he could we both were kicked out of our alliance with the one computer, but he was placed into the alliance that had most the computers in it again, while i wasn't in any alliance (except the second one we made together, we were both still in it but it didn't matter because it wasn't actually treating us like we were in it)

I realize this is all like crazy complicated, but if you can't understand that giant paragraph I think the jist of it is trying to make an alliance is virtually imposssible in our game. If someone could help us it'd be great, because our game is currently unplayable.