WTF is wrong with Multiplayer?!?

Alright, so, I have the game, works fine. That is, until I try to play a multiplayer game. I think the issue starts when the non-host player does not get a chance to play their first turn. I am forced (as the host) to play the first turn, and then process without them ever getting an option to play.

After that point the player has of course many AI settings as it is computer controlled in its absence. These settings tend from that point forward to dictate some (not all) settings, such as research, planet colonization, build queues, etc.

So my question is this:
Am I a retard and am messing up my setup? Or is the multiplayer flawed and in need of some serious patch love?

And if the second is the case, then here's another question:
How could you let a game go gold without simulating multiplayer experiences on all network settings

BTW I am playing on TCP/IP. I might have wanted to say that at the top. enh

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Long time listener, first time caller.